Arsenal boss has ESP but not PSG

You didn’t know that Arsene Wenger had magic powers did ya? It’s a shame he couldn’t have used them in the last eight years to win Arsenal a trophy or two, but that would be cheating and certainly not the way a professor of football studies would go about his business.

While everyone who was connected with Manchester United and Alex Ferguson’s closest friends were all surprised and completely in the dark about ol’ Fergie deciding to give the poor Premier League officials a break and retire, Wenger had seen it in the stars or tea leaves or something, apparently.

“I told my staff a long time ago that I think it will be Alex Ferguson’s last year, so I was not completely surprised,” said Wenger while holding a crystal ball in one hand and making wavy gestures with the other.

“I detected a few signs through the season.”

Hopefully, the Frenchman has also detected signs that Arsenal will win the next two matches, against Wigan and Newcastle, thereby leaving AVB and his talented team of one Welshman to watch telly on Tuesday and Wednesday nights again next season before traveling to play against teams that look like somebody has run out of vowels in Scrabble.

If Arsenal miss out, there will be renewed calls for Wenger to vacate the hot seat. There have been lots of stories in the media about PSG trying to persuade him to do that anyway, but Wenger has declared that he would not walk away from his contract `like a thief`. (Maybe just a little dig at a certain Dutchman there).

Wenger has also stated that he has had no official contact from the French champions. He also expects Ancelotti to remain as the manager of PSG after winning the French title for them. Wenger would know after all, he has seen the signs with his Extra Sensory Perception.