Arsenal take their lead from London rioters!

The Arsenal team travelled to Newcastle this weekend, while their neighbours at Tottenham had their game postponed due to the awful behavior of their fans, who completely dismantled Tottenham High Street rather than see their team lose their opening game of the season.

The riots soon spread to Arsenal even though they were playing away in Newcastle, but the players took their lead and decided to take their anger at the Government (50% tax!) out on the Newcastle players instead!

The normally mild-mannered Alex Song was seen blatantly stamping on the usually mild-mannered (!!!) Joey Barton, and after that the riots broke out all over the pitch.

Arsenal’s new light-heavyweight Gervinho showed that the French could hold their own in a disturbance, and after being tickled on the ankle he decided to go down for the count. The referee ignored him and the usually mild-mannered (???) Joey Barton generously helped him to his feet, and was rewarded with an uppercut of Nicklas Bendtner proportions, which saw Barton pole-axed immediately.

The British Boxing Board of Control will certainly be looking into the reasons behind the riot, as both teams have been charged with “causing a pantomime in a public place” on top of the usual charge of “Happy Handbags” but Alex Song is certain to be penalised for “joey-walking”.

Arsenal and Newcastle may have only got a point each from the game, but Gervinho’s extra three points for his “synchronised diving” performance means that Arsenal are now well clear at the top of the League, and rightly so!